And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
