you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
