i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize