were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
