Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
