my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
