Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize