I puked a lego.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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