why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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