I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
