Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
