i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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