he thought i was a dude.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Can I color on your dick again?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
