Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
