My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
