your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
