I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Less talking, more tequila
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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