Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
