i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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