Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
