You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There r osticjed everywhere
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
