low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
