We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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