Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
