He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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