If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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