Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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