not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize