I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
