I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
