bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We talked him into tasing himself.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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