i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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