His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
