Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
