before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
