I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
