I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
