so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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