Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
