i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
