he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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