WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
