Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
