the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
