dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
