i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
