white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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