you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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