i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
