I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
