He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I will pee on everything he values.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We had sex on a dog bed..
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Randomize
