no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize