Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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