his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
