Where is the hickey?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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