Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So vagazzling was a success
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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