dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize