GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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