Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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