I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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