I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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