Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
