Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
