I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize