I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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