a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
