Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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