You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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