Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
