I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
