when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
