you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
