Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
