I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
