that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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