I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
