just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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