DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I pour the whiskey from now on
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
